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Star Wars: Gifts for the Obsessed

Posted on April 26th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Star Wars.

Still looking for that perfect gift for that special Star Wars fan your life?  That LEGO Star Destroyer, at $300, may look mighty tempting, but there are other options out there.

 

Obsession meets function with this R2-D2 trash can.  So it’s $150 and doesn’t even open automatically when you approach like a robot trash can really should…but who cares?  With an R2-D2 trash can, throwing away stuff - and perhaps even taking out the garbage! - is fun again!  (Well, if it ever was…)

What about a Darth Vader Lightsaber Umbrella?  The hilt…er…the handle of this umbrella looks like the hilt of Darth Vader’s lightsaber, but such luxuries aren’t cheap - the Vader Rainsaber carries a price tag of $100.

Want to save some money?  Or perhaps you believe, rightfully so, that all lightsaber blades should light up?  Try the LED Lightsaber Umbrellas - at $41, they’re practically a steal. 

Think that your lightsaber should be able to handle full-contact dueling - the kind of dueling even your not-so-average umbrella might not be able to stand up to?  The Star Wars FX Lightsabers won’t do, but Advanced-Light Weaponry has the solution for you.  (Although those solutions are priced somewhere at or above the cost of the LEGO Star Destroyer…)

Not into lightsabers (or rainsabers)?  Perhaps an exciting trip…how about a ride in a Darth Vader hot air balloon?  (Though it’s privately owned in Belgium…so I don’t know how realistic that is…and a ride would probably cost more than a combat-ready lightsaber…)

2 comments.

Kids Say: Miss Zhan is a Vampire

Posted on April 26th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog.

Note: This post is to show appreciation for an obnoxious comment someone left today.  :-P 

I think this is more about the ridiculous things I say, rather than the funny stuff my students say…

* * * * * * * * * *

(I forget what led up to this…)

Student: “If a vampire bite you, you will become vampire.”

Anna: “Yes.  And if a vampire goes out into the sunlight, he will die.”

Student: “Why?”

Anna: “I really don’t know why.  Maybe it’s like when Miss Zhan gets sunburn.  You know when I go out in the sunlight and my skin turns red and then falls off.”

Students: “Yes, we know.”

Anna: “Maybe it’s like that, but 100 times faster.  The vampire’s skin burns so quickly that he dies.”

Students: (general consent)

Anna: (thinking) “But when you go out in the sunlight, you don’t burn like the vampires and Miss Zhan do, do you?”

Students: “No!”

Anna: (deciding to take advantage of the fact that I’m likely the only white person they’ve ever known) “Have you ever met anyone who’s skin burns in the sun like Miss Zhan’s does?”

Students: “No!”

Anna: “You know what this means…?”

Students: “No…”

Anna: “Miss Zhan is half vampire.  Maybe only one fourth.  You know, I never met one of my grandpas…my family told me he died before I was born…maybe he walked out into the sunlight and died…”

Students: (stunned silence)

Anna: “I wonder what would happen if I bit one of you…?”

At this point, all my students turned back to the lunch they were eating.  None of them would make eye contact with me, and several of the students seated near me scooted their chairs away.  No one said anything for the rest of the lunch period, and the room remained silent until I left at nap time.

I may be evil.

1 comment.

Belize: Belize Zoo

Posted on April 26th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Animals, Belize, Blog, Travel.

[Main entrance sign: “The Belize Zoo: A Haven for Wildlife”]

The Belize Zoo is a relatively small zoo, spread out on 29 acres of land, where animals are kept in their natural habitats.  Most of the zoo’s occupants have at one point been orphaned or injured, and by the time they were well, they were too tame to be released into the wild again.  There are a few animals that have been donated by other countries.

[Emerald Toucanet]

One thing that makes the zoo fun and special are the wacky signs they have posted to introduce the animals.  The below sign is the introduction to the Emerald Toucanet (pictured above.)

 
[Feast your eyes on something green!
I make a noise like a frog!
I’m rarely seen!
Of the three toucan types foun’ in our nation
I am the smallest variation!]

[Toucan] 

One big attraction was the toucan, Belize’s national bird.  I was amazed at how intelligent they are - sometimes, they seemed to be showing off, fully aware that we were watching them with curiosity.

[Harpy Eagle]

Another beautiful and intelligent bird is the Harpy Eagle, which is nearly extict, like so many other amazing creatures that most people on this planet don’t care about.  This particular Harpy Eagle was raised by humans and, oddly enough, takes comfort in their presense.  He was so longing for human attention that, when I finally moved on, I felt guilty for it.  I could’ve stayed with him all day.

[Scarlet Macaw]

Next up on the endangered species list is the Scarlet Macaw, and if you don’t want it to go extinct in the wild, you might consider visiting http://www.stopfortis.org/ and signing the petition against the hydro-electric dam that a large Canadian power company wishes to build.  The dam will cause the Scarlet Macaw’s only known breeding ground in the world to be flooded and destroyed.

[Jaguar]

In addition to the plethora of birds, Belize is also home to a number of big cats, including the jaguar.  Anna loves cats - big and small.  Anna was in heaven.  (I used to try to convince my mom to let me have a Siberian Tiger when I was little…that was one of the few requests she never broke down for…that, the iguana (why not???) and the goat.  Oh, and she never let me have a horse either.)

[Jaguar]

Please respect that I stuck my whole hand (and my precious camera) into the jaguar enclosure to get this picture - he was about 4 to 5 feet away from me and could have eaten my hand, had he been less lazy (but in the jaguar’s defense, it was a hot day.)  Know that I have risked limb, if not life, to make this blog more interesting. 

We live in a beautiful world…so take care of it, if you want any of the above creatures to be able to survive in it.

3 comments.

Kids Say: Marrying Tarzan

Posted on April 25th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog.

I realized I never share any of my daily conversations with students…so here’s one today with one of my six-year-old kindergarteners. 

* * * * * * * * * *

Student: “Miss Zhan, in America, you are no marry, right?”

Anna: “Right.” (thinks for a while) “But I am married to my cat.”

Student: “What?”

Anna: “Yes, I will marry my cat.  And I will wear a white dress, and he will wear a black suit.”

Student: “No!  No!”

Anna: “Why not?”

Student: “You can no marry he.”

Anna: “Why can’t I marry him?”

Student: “Because…he is so short.”

Anna: “That’s OK.  He has a shelf he can sit on.”

Student: “No!  No!  You is too tall to marry with he!”

Anna: “No, I can just lean over to kiss him.  It’s OK.”

Student: “No!  You is so tall!  He is so short!

Co-teacher: “Is that the only reason why Miss Zhan cannot marry her cat?”

Student: “…yes.”

Co-teacher: “A baby is short, and a cat is short.  Can a baby marry a cat, then?”

Student: “Yes.”

Co-teacher: “No!  He cannot!  The cat is an animal!  Can you marry an animal?”

Student: “If the same tall, yes.”

* * * * * * * * * *

So…I can’t marry Tarzan…but I could probably marry a cougar.  Good to know.

2 comments.

Taiwan: Taipei: Uncle Matt and Directions

Posted on April 22nd, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog.

On Thursday night, I had hot pot with a group of my old coworkers from Shanghai, who happened to be in town for vendor meetings.  Uncle Danny chose the location, out in Neihu, which means we had to drive…the following is a great example of traveling with Uncle Matt at the wheel:

[Seated: Uncle Danny; Standing: Uncle Matt, myself, Daisy, Fiona]

(in the car with Matt, Daisy, and Fiona)

Anna: “OK, then just turn onto Wende Road and we’re there - Number 237, the restaurant’s called the Center of Spice.”

Matt: “What road is it on?”

Anna: “I just told you!  Wende Road!”

Matt: “We don’t even know where we’re going…”

Anna: “Yes we do.  Just stay on this road until you hit Wende Road.”

Matt: “Anna, call Uncle Danny and find out what road it’s on.”

Daisy: “Matt!  For the love of God, it’s on Wende Road!”

Matt: “How does he expect us to find it if he doesn’t even tell us what road it’s on?  There’s something wrong with his mind.”

Daisy: “There’s something wrong with your mind!”

Anna: (answering cellphone) “Hello?  Danny?  We’re on Neihu Road finally. … Well, Uncle Matt wouldn’t listen to me. … Yeah, can you talk to him? … I know, I got your text message with the restaurant’s name and address, and I told him, but he won’t listen to me. … Please, you talk to him.” (passes phone)

Matt: “Hello?  Danny? … Where is this restaurant? … Oh, OK. … OK. … Yeah, nobody here knew where it is.”

Anna: (to Fiona) “I just may kill him.”

Matt: “OK, Wende Road.  Got it.” (passes phone back to Anna)

Anna: (to Fiona) “This is why he isn’t married.  He won’t listen.”

Fiona: (to Anna) “We’ve been trying to tell him all day, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Daisy: “Matt!  We just passed Wende Road!”

Matt: “Just help me look for Wende Road.”

Anna: “But we just passed it!”

Matt: “It can’t be too far.”

Fiona: “It’s been like this all day.”

*Note: Uncle Matt’s a dear friend and I love spending time with him…but he is very aggrevating at times.

1 comment.

Taiwan: An Excuse to Leave

Posted on April 21st, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog.

On Thursday I had Formal Lunch, one of the few aspects of my job that I detest…that, and student evaluations…which I need to finish this weekend.  Men have to wear ties to Formal Lunch…but I was just in a funky mood when I woke up, so I donned my lime green tie.

When the teacher in the classroom next door and I decided to take this picture to commemorate our matching neckware with a photo, my students got very excited.  “He is your boyfriend!” “You like him!” “You will marry with him?”  Humored, I went next door to tell him about their excitement, and it was then that we hatched the plan…

A staged romance in front of our students, ending during my last week at work in May before I move to NYC, when we’ll start fighting.  Since our classrooms are connected via a bathroom, we can yell at each other from our rooms and throw things through the bathroom at each other.  Come the end of the week, I’ll quit and leave Taiwan on the premise that I can’t stand to be on the same island with him.

“Anna, your students will hate me,” he told me.

“Yeah, but what do I care?” I asked.  “I’ll be long gone.”

…am I evil?

1 comment.

English Names: Anakin

Posted on April 18th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Star Wars.

The following is a dialog straight from the teacher’s lounge today.  We were working on midterm evaluations and I felt compelled to inquire with a fellow teacher - we’ll call her Woman - about little Anakin, a student in her kindergarten class (I’m so jealous!)  Joining the conversation is another kindy teacher - we’ll be lazy and call him Man.

It is necessary to note that Woman has never seen any of the Star Wars movies.  She doesn’t like them (even though she’s never seen them and knows nothing about them…)  She thinks they’re stupid.  The only thing she knows about the movies is that Anakin becomes Luke Skywalker.

Anna: “So, how’s Anakin doing?”

Woman: “Oh, he’s fine.”

Anna: “Would you say that he’s prone to outbursts of anger?  Even violence?”

Woman: “He is!  Why, just today, he stuck out his leg and kicked me as I walked past!”

Anna and Man: LAUGH

Man: “Does he use emotions like his fear and anger to fuel his misbehavior?”

Woman: “He does!  As a matter of fact -”

Anna and Man: LAUGH

Woman: ANGRY

Anna: “Ah, yes, is says here in Anakin’s evaluation that he goes out of his to disturb his classmates…control his anger, he must.”

Anna and Man: LAUGH

Anna: “And it also says that he is not very attentive of his teacher’s lessons…ignoring Obi-wan’s teachings again…”

Anna and Man: LAUGH

Woman: ANGRY “Look!  If there’s something wrong with it, just tell me and I’ll fix it!”

Anna: “No, there’s nothing wrong it it.  It’s beautiful.”

Woman: “What is it then?  What’s so funny?”

Man: “It’s not you.”

Anna: “Have you really never seen Star Wars?”

Woman: “No.  I don’t like that movie.  Anakin becomes Luke Skywalker.  It’s stupid.”

Anna: “No, Anakin is Luke Skywalker’s father.”

Man: “Anakin becomes Darth Vader.”

Anna: “Like, a symbol of evil in the galaxy.”

Man: “And your evaluation just described the character in the movie perfectly.”

Perhaps a name really does influence the type of person one becomes…  Heheh.  If I had Anakin in my class, I would make the class call me Miss Kenobi, and I would quote bits from the movies to Anakin every day.  Alas…he’s not in my class…nor is Legolas - he’s in a class upstairs.

1 comment.

Guatemala: Canopy Tour (Tikal)

Posted on April 16th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Guatemala, Travel.

I signed up for the zip-line canopy tour…partially because I thought it’d be fun to swing around between trees, and partially because they were advertised as “Tarzan tours”. I went at the place next to the gate of the national park that the Tikal/Yavin 4 site is in.  The guide was awesome - he had great English, and he took the time to point out lots of special plants on the way, describing special or medicinal properties.

[Myself…hanging from a cable up in the jungle canopy of northern Guatemala for reasons that seemed to make more sense at the time.] 

The guide also taught me how to ride upside down between trees, the idea of which terrified me at first…but then I decided I wanted to confront that fear, and I went ahead and did it.  It was really exhilerating…I felt like a bird.  The sky below me, the wind and trees rushing around me as I hung free with out-stretched arms.  (The only challenge in knowing when to turn back up so you don’t reach the next tree George of the Jungle Style.)

[Typical patform around a tree between two cables]

Of course, I’m somewhat skeptical about the wisdom of hanging from a cable 100 feet up in a third-world country…even right-side up…but I admit they had enough safety measures that I felt pretty comfortable…and a bit like an Ewok.  Then they took me on the Canopy Walk and my suspicions were confirmed.  Guatemala is the all-purpose Star Wars moon.

[Ewok bridge…err…Canopy Walk]

They took me on the uncompleted Canopy Walk free of charge, hoping to gain insights as to how an American/European tourist might react to various aspects.  Uncompleted, the Canopy Walk had none of the safety features that the Canopy Tour boasted, and at times I was climbing carefully on narrow steel girders where they planned to build a platform around a tree to connect two bridges, and there was nothing to hang on to but a huge tree trunk with no accessible branches.  I love the adventures.

[Myself on the Canopy Walk, but still geared up from the zip-line Canopy Tour]

Of course, by the time we got back to what passed for the office, the last bus next to Flores was long gone.  Never fear!  The workers at the site all live in Santa Elena, right next to Flores, and instead of spending three hours crammed into a ten-passenger van with 15 other tourists, I got a smooth one-hour ride in an air conditioned sedan.  Ah, the good life…

[The sunset on the ride back to Flores]

The Canopy (Zip-line) Tour, I should mention, only cost US$15 in Guatemala…is neighboring Belize, they run about US$100.  They it really didn’t serve as the wildlife tour they claim it to be…but for US$15 it’s a fun experience.  I would have hated to spend US$100 on it unless the Belize one is radically better.

3 comments.

Guatemala: Tikal (Yavin 4)

Posted on April 15th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Guatemala, Star Wars, Travel.

Where is the rebel base?

Not on Dantooine…or even on Yavin 4…no, the rebels were in northern Guatemala.

[Anna’s picture of Tikal, Guatemala, taken from the top of Temple IV]

[Scene from Yavin 4 rebel base in Star Wars Episode IV]

Please take careful note of the similarities and differences of these two images and submit to me a one-page report on it one week from today.

[Temple I in Tikal]

Tikal’s most famous temple is Temple I, which folks haven’t been allowed to climb since two tourists tumbled to their doom from its steps some years ago.  It’s a pity, but we are allowed to climb Temple II, which is similar and offers a great view of Temple I, so I wasn’t too bitter about the lost opportunity.

[Temple V, the size of which cannot be captured without backing into the surrounding jungle]

While Temple I may be off limits, Temple V, which stands 40 feet taller and appears to be steeper as well, is not off limits.  The ledge on the top is no more than three feet wide, and there is no railing to keep the two-way pedestrian tourist traffic from tumbling down - I guess no one’s died here yet.  They’ll put up a railing after enough Americans tumble to their doom.

[View of Yavin…er, Tikal’s tallest pyramid, Temple IV, from atop the Lost World Temple.  And me, of course.]

Most of these pyramids were discovered in the past century, and it really made me wonder…how could you not know?  It was right up there on par with the ”How could Lois Lane not know Clark Kent is Superman?” question.  I mean, they’re rather large and hard to miss.  And then I stumbled upon an unexcavated temple (below) and I think I developed a new level of respect for the archeologists working there.

[Random unexcavated pyramid]

And to wrap this up, something very cute.  The Lonely Planet warned not to feed the coatis…is this what it was referring to?  It’s too cute to be a pest…  I mean, I wouldn’t mind having one for a pet.  The sad thing is, when I was little, I only had to convince my mom of the need for whatever animal I was after…but now I have to justify it to myself.  I have a hard time even justifying a fish.

 

Wiki declares the coatimundi to be a small, intelligent bear that in an insectivorious member of the raccoon family.  They live in Central and South America and have double-jointed ankles.  Interesting.

1 comment.

Meaningless Rant: Cleaning (Fortune Cookie)

Posted on April 15th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

Only six weeks left in Taiwan.  In an effort to stay ahead of everything, I’ve been packing for weeks, but now that my departure is looming on the next calendar month, it’s time to get to business.  That means sorting through everything and divvying it all up into Keep, Pack, Donate, and Trash piles.  While sorting, I came across the following:

[Travel to appease your restlessness.]

It’s not only amusing in that it is obviously fitting for me…but also in that there are no fortune cookies in Asia, and I haven’t had Asian food in America since 2005…  Somehow, this little slip of paper has managed to stay with me, in cleaning out my old apartment, in packing for Asia, in backpacking for a half year around Asia, and through two apartments in Taipei.  It’s really amazing.

I think I’ll put it in my wallet.  This little fortune has perseverence.

4 comments.