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Travel: Bridget Jones Style Travel Log

Posted on January 28th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Travel.

As a tribute to the beloved Bridget Jones…my trails of travel, down in ink…  For those of you who have never had the oppotunity to enjoy all my thought, as they occur to me, unfiltered, enjoy

Sunday, Janhuary 28th

12:00am Check e-mail

12:05am Listen to Shrek 2 soundtrack, dance and sing with the music while surfing the net.  Still have 4+ hours before need to leave home.

1:00am More than three hours left.  No rush.  Turn on Moulin Rouge soundtrack.  Sing and dance while surfing the net.

2:00am Need to leave home is just more than two hours…usually takes me a whole day to pack…oh crap, oh crap.  Better start.

3:00am Packed!  Excellent.  Am good girl and may check e-mail as reward for amazing success in super-speed luggage preparation.  (Maybe quick because apartment is small - things have fewer places to hide.)

3:10am Oh!  Need to buy ant killer before leaving.  Must take advantage of cat-free apartment status to set out poisonous substances.

3:30am Return home.  Set out ant killer.  One in bathroom.  One in bedroom.  Just in case they are different colonies coming from the bathroom ceiling and the bedroom wall.  Doubt it, but paranoia wins.

4:00am Check e-mail

4:25am Set out trash

4:27am Close windows

4:28am Unplug appliances, turn off electronics

4:30am Forgot something.  What was it?

4:34am This is the problem with forgetting things…how can I remember what I’ve forgotten?  I only remember THAT I forgot, and what good does that do me?

4:35am  Crap!  Need to leave.  No idea what it was.  Think, think, think!

4:40am Really need to go!  Ten minutes behind schedule!!!

4:45am Gameboy!!

4:47am Hail cab

4:59am Arrive bus station.  Bus leaves in one minute!  Must hurry!  Stupid Gameboy, battery is dead anyway.

5:00am Buy ticket.  Board bus.  Bus stragely crowded for pre-dawn trip to airport.

5:40am Arrive airport.  That was quick!  No traffic before the sun rises.  Yay me.

5:45am Can’t find NWA counter.  Weird.  Do a second pass.

5:50am Still no NWA counter.

5:51am Confused group of Taiwanese people also cannot find NWA counter.  Will follow them.  We can be lost together.  Comfort in numbers.

6:00am Found NWA counter with the lost Taiwanese people.

6:20am Luggage inspection

6:25am Check-in

6:30am Luggage inspection

6:40am Pass through immigration

6:45am Bathroom break!  Hate going to bathroom with luggage in airports.  Bathroom stalls are not designed to hold you and your luggage, but if you leave it anywhere, you’ll get accused of being a terrorist.  Horrible situation for the single traveler.

6:50am Luggage inspection.  (The Americans demand it, they tell me.  That is why my luggage has been inspected three times in thirty minutes.)

7:00am At gate.

7:10am Exhaustion sets in.

7:11am Fading…

7:12am Dying…

7:14am Must.  Stay.  Awake.

7:16am Almost dropped passport and passed out…dangerous!

7:20am I can do this!

7:21am Contemplate the meaning of life.  A good, purposeful way to pass the time.

7:30am Soon.

7:35am Very soon.

7:40am Luggage inspection.  They inspect my luggage more often than I check my e-mail.  Shoe inspection, too.  Wee!

7:50am Boarded plane.

7:55am Switch from 28C to 29C so people can sit together.

8:06am Switch from 29C to 30C so people can sit together.

8:10am Switch from 30C to 31G per advisal of flight attendant.

8:15am Will nap to pass time on oring flight.  Not that one wants an exciting flight.

11:00am Food.  Not sure what meal this counts as, but it’s food.

12:00am Arrive at Osaka, Japan’s Kansai International Airport.

12:10pm luggage inspection.

12:20pm Bathroom break!

12:25pm At gate.  Shocked by all the white people going to Detroit, where the weak are killed and eaten.  They’re everywhere.  With bleach blond hair and bright red hair and curly black hairabove bright blue eyes.  Businessmen, tall and fat and clad in brightly colored polos, laptops in tow.  Never fathomed there could be so many white people going to Detroit, where the weak are killed and eaten.  Why are they going there?  What are they doing here?  Does anyone think about these things except me?

12:45pm Luggage inspection.  They took my travel-sized tube of toothpaste this time.

12:50pm Board plane.

1:20pm Reading NWA Traveler magazine.  Has article on Mexico…will read, as am going to Mexico shortly.
¨…the jungle seems ready to entangle structures…wild parrots screech…¨
Thoughs of self like Indiana Jones, exploring ruins…
¨Don’t wander off, though - it’s no fun playing Indiana Jones in the sweltering heat.¨
Dreams are shattered.

??:??xm Time is irrelevent on planes.
You get there when you get there, and during the time inbetween take-off and landing, you have no control over anything.

??:??xm ¨Is there a medical doctor on the plane?¨ (Message repeats in Japanese)

??:??xm ¨Is there a nurse or a paramedic on board?¨ (Message repeats in Japanese)

??:??xm Time may be relevat to the person in 57D.

??:??xm What time is it?

??:??xm Will we have to stop in Alaska for a medical emergency?

??:??xm Why didn’t they find someone to ask for a docor in Chinese?  Half of our passengers are Chinese.

??:??xm Slept for…some time.  Hungry.

??:??xm Lights coming on.  Breakfast.

??:??xm People with special diets always get fed first.  Must acquire special diet.

??:??xm Bitchy flight attendant intentionally skips my row (and only my row) to give the people behind me more options.  Sick of the service on this airline.  This is Coach Choice/Preferred/Whatever/ShouldHaveBetterServiceThanThis.  Very angry.

??:??xm Food, food, food.  Yummy food.

11:00am Time resumes relevancy as we land in Detroit, where the weak are killed and eaten, more than two hours before we left Osaka, Japan.

11:15am Go through customs.  Have ot been on US soil for more than a year.  Very exciting.

11:20am Will look at new stamps in my passport…love all the pretty, dated stamps…
No new US stamp!  Cheated!!!

11:23am Double check passport - no new US stamp.

11:25am Begin detailed, page-by-page inspection of passport…
No stamp.

11:40am Luggage is coming!

11:50am My bag!!  And with less cat hair than when I left Taipei.  Where is the cat hair now?  In the plane?  In the ocean?  Does no one think about these things except me?

12:00pm Pass through customs and into Detroit, where the weak are killed and eaten.

12:05pm Indoor train.  Fascinating.  Bright red.  Pretty.

12:15pm Found gate.

12:16pm Bored.

12:17pm Seek out airport bookstore - a mini Boarders!  YAY!

12:25pm Found new Timothy Zahn Star Wars novel!  But it’s hardcover and like NT$1000…

12:30pm Return to gate.

12:31pm Bored.

12:32pm Eat sunflower seeds leftover from August trip to Thailand.

12:35pm Throw away stale sunflower seeds.

12:36pm Bored.

12:37pm Read book.

1:15pm Boarding first class - that’s me!

1:50pm Watch trace amounts of snow fall with fascination while plane taxis.

2:11pm Been taxiing for half an hour.

2:13pm Captain says airplane needs to be de-iced.  Why wasn’t this done earlier?

2:14pm Hungry.

2:15pm De-icing stuff is pink.  Fun.

2:18pm Take off my shoes.

2:19pm My eyes are dry.

2:22pm Do they de-ice both sides of the plane at the same time?

2:27pm De-icing done.  Still sitting here.

2:33pm Stil sitting here.

2:44pm Captain says the plane’s computer is malfunctioning. They will try to fix it remotely.

3:19pm Computer fixed, but now we need to refuel because we’ve een taxiing for two hours and no longer have enough fuel to make the one-hour flight to New York.

3:33pm Refueled…and still sitting here.

3:34pm Still hungry.

3:53pm Departure.  30 minutes after our scheduled arrival.

4:15pm  Claim apple, Oreos, and pretzles from Basket o’ Plenty.  Devour.

4:25pm Request another apple.

4:27pm Reject apple juice.
Try to explain my request to increasingly confused flight attendant: ¨No, can I have another apple…to eat…you know…solid apple…round…you know…¨ (Mime biting an apple) ¨Mmm…crispy, yummy, bitable apple…not juice…solid…to eat…¨
Occurs to me that I’ve lost the ability to communicate with my own kind.

5:05pm Land in New York City.

4 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Return of the Jedi Cat

Posted on January 22nd, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Animals, Blog, Cats, Meaningless Rants, Star Wars.

[I’m learning how to do lightsaber effects!]

It occurred to me that Tarzan is somewhat lacking from my recent blogs, but he’s been strange enough lately to definately warrent a post - so here goes (again, actually, this is the third time I’ve written this post…my server keeps crashing on me.)

Tarzan maintains his bizarre sleeping behavior, which imitates that of a human.  He sleeps on his back, with his head resting on a pillow.  Is this comfortable for him?  It’s not very cat-like…

Tarzan continues to be very playful.  He’s not quite two years old yet, and I guess they’re kittens up until then, so…maybe he’s normal…in his own way.  Above, he’s playing Tug of War with me…because he thinks he’s a dog.  I see no other explanation.

3 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Jedi Buys Car

Posted on January 20th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants, Star Wars.

“Your bakery products are weak, old man!”

It is absolutely necessary that you follow this link, (or this one, they’re the same,) to watch this YouTube video about Obi-wan Kenobi buying a used car.  (Well, it’s necessary if you’re a Star Wars Fan and have yet to see this video.)

Alternatively, you could click on either of the above pictures, which I’m also linking to the same, hilarious Star Wars parody.

Yes, once it again its been proven: I have no life.

2 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Travel Plans: Spring 2007

Posted on January 13th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants, Travel.

The evolution of my travel plans…

Plan 1)
Fly Taipei to New York, spend 5 days
Fly New York to Taipei

But it seems such a waste to go all the way to America, just to turn around and go back a few days later…why not make a vacation of it?  Where to go?  Never been to Mexico.

Plan 2)
Fly Taipei to New York, spend 5 days
Fly to Mexico City, spend 10 days
Backpacking in Mexico
Fly Cancun to New York, connect to Taipei

But then people started warning me that perhaps 10 days is not enough.  That transportation in Mexico is ungodly slow.  my mom suggested I choose between seeing Aztec sites, near Mexico City, and Mayan sites, near Cancun.  Maya was the obvious choice.

Plan 3)
Fly Taipei to New York, spend 5 days
Fly to Cancun, spend 10 days
Backpacking in Yucatan Peninsula
Fly Cancun to New York, connect to Taipei.

But really, if you want to see Maya stuff, you don’t want to limit yourself to just Mexico, do you?  Because there’s a lot to see in Belize and Guatamala.  But can you see three countries in 10 days?

Plan 4)
Fly Taipei to New York, spend 5 days
Fly New York to Cancun, spend 18 days
Backpacking in Mexico, Belize, and Guatamala
Fly Cancun to New York, connect to Taipei

But after all this delay, I couldn’t get my flight to Cancun with my frequent flier miles anymore.  After playing around, I managed to find a flight into Guatamala City, and another out of Belize City.  But, if I’m going to be in southern Guatamala, why not have a side trip to Honduras?

Plan 5)
Fly Taipei to New York, spend 5 days 
Fly to Guatamala, spend 18 days
Backpacking in Mexico, Belize, Guatamala, and Honduras
Fly Belize to New York, connect to Taipei

I’d better book my tickets now, else I’ll be back to Plan 1…and that’d be a terrible loss, no?

As for the detailed plan in Central America…
Guatamala City, Guatamala (transit point)
Copan, Honduras (excellent ruins)
Tikal, Guatamala (ruins in jungle)
Palenque, Mexico (excellent ruins in jungle)
Uxmal, Mexico (excellent ruins)
Chichen Itza, Mexico (excellent ruins)
Chetumal, Mexico (excellent museum)
Caracol, Belize (huge ruins site)
Cockscomb Basin, Belize (rainforest wildlife preserve)
Altun Ha, Belize (more ruins)
Belize City, Belize (transit point)

If only I had a thingie for putting up polls…it would say:

Think I can do it?

• a) Yes, it will be an awesome.
• b) No, you are doomed to failure.
• c) You shall perish along the path.
• d) Difficult to see.  Always in motion is the future.

4 comments.

Tribute: Beauty

Posted on January 11th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Animals, Blog, Cats.

[My cat Beauty, opening the Christmas gift I brought her all by herself - and, in the process, enjoying said gift very much.]

A small tribute to the small-framed, gray ball of fluff named Beauty, who entered my family’s home on February 4^th, 1990 at the tender age of seven months after being adopted from her foster mother, Ann, at the Animal Rescue League.
 
Terrified of humans until her last year in the world of mortals, I won Beauty’s love and trust with patience sitting next to her and reading out loud, or offering my hand to her instead of petting her directly.  She grew attached to me, and became my constant companion, the gray ring of fur around the crater in the feather pillow on my bed was a friendly reminder of this fact.

Thinking of herself as a human, Beauty enjoyed wearing dolls clothes and eating junk food, like Oreos and Doritos.  A timid creature, no one ever dared scold her, not even when she worked up the courage to jump up onto the dinner table.  She was fond of Subway sandwiches, which made it convenient for her to eat from one end while I ate from the other.  She had a preference for white meat, and no power in the verse could hide beef jerky from her.

Beauty had her quirks, as all good cats do.  She preferred climbing over jumping, and always made a point of digging her claws into the side of a piece of furniture to laboriously pull herself up the side of a bed or a couch.  She also had the tendency to fly down the hall and disappear at the smallest provocation, or seemingly no provocation at all, leaving tufts of soft fur floating through the air in her wake.

She was a very gentle cat, and though she had all her claws, and though she used them liberally, she rarely ever scratched me, even if she was struggling to get away.  She also had an excellent set of manners, and always made a point of walking carefully around the random art project, book, or remote that might be in her way, never stepping or sitting on things as other cats are inclined to do.

Beauty left our world on December 21^st, 2006, and though I’m sad to have her leave us, I’m also grateful that she gave so much to myself and my family.  As Angelica said, “the reason you were so sad when she died was because she gave you so much love while she was alive.” Truer words were never spoken.  For seventeen years, she made our lives better: seventeen years of fun, curiosity, warmth, and enjoyment.

And I dare say that perhaps she looks back and thinks the same of us.

0 comments.

Requiem: Beauty

Posted on January 4th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Animals, Blog, Cats.

A friend
before I could comprehend the word.

A confidant
before I understood the need.

In your company
I never knew emptiness.

Dear Beauty,
your gentle spirit is freed.

3 comments.