Other Side of the Planet dot com

Movies: Televised Star Wars Marathon

Posted on December 31st, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Movies, Star Wars.

OMG…look at today’s TV Guide for the Star Movies channel and tell me that their line-up isn’t AWESOME, if you dare!!!  (I’d like to draw special attention to the complete Star Wars marathon they’ll be broadcasting from 3:30 this afternoon straight on through to 7:40 tomorrow morning.  I was planning to go to the Taipei 101 building, currently the world’s tallest building, for fireworks and live concerts, but as it is, I’m mighty tempted to stay home and watch televised Star Wars for 16 hours straight!!!)

—Sunday, December 31, 2006—
01:10 Chicago
03:30 City Slickers
06:20 Moulin Rouge
08:55 White Fang
11:10 Robots
13:05 Mr. And Mrs. Smith
15:30 Star Wars - The Phantom Menace
18:10 Star Wars - Attack Of The Clones
21:00 Star Wars - Revenge Of The Sith
23:50 Star Wars - A New Hope
—Monday, January 1, 2007—
02:20 Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back
04:55 Star Wars - Return Of The Jedi
07:40 The Mirror Has Two Faces
10:45 Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron 

It almost makes me wish it would rain tonight…a good typhoon would make for a decent excuse…ah, but the Central Weather Bureau only gives rain a 30% chance tonight…there’s still hope, though…right?

Do you think they’ll be in English or Chinese…?  If they’re dubbed, I’m totally staying home.

I have no life.

2 comments.

Meaningless Rant: What Does Taiwan Sound Like?

Posted on December 29th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants, Taiwan.

I was taking down some old worksheets that I had stuck up in the stairwell I’ve come to dominate in the Kindergarten.  They were some weeks old, back from our Health theme.  After taking a walk to the Nature Park on campus, I asked the kids to draw pictures of what they saw, heard, felt, and smelled during our nature trek.

At the same time, I was pondering our new theme, which starts next week: Taiwan.  I began mentally generating lesson plans as I cleared off a patch of the stairwell wall, and slowly the worksheets and Taiwan theme planning began to meld, and I started asking myself questions like:

1. “What does Taiwan look like?”
   Well, I thought, it looks like motorscooters weaving in and out of traffic under Chinese signs for food and shoes and betel nut.  Hmm…odd way to think of it, but it was the first thought to come to mind.
2. “What does Taiwan smell like?”
   Stinky tofu and pollution, I thought, though in Taiwan’s defense, that’s really just Taipei.
3. “What does Taiwan sound like?”
   The Fur Elise.

My answer to question three was immediate and definitive, and seemingly inexplicable to anyone who has NOT lived here.  Alas, you lucky ones who are sheltered from the horible truth.

Every night, garbage trucks travel throughout the cities of Taiwan, blasting the Fur Elise incessently.  The notes, unending, come blaring out of the special siren-like speakers on the garbage trucks, announcing the whereabouts of the truck.  (You see, in Taiwan, the garbage truck doesn’t pick up your garbage - it drives around the city and, when you hear the Fur Elise, you quickly gather your garbage, run downstairs, chase the garbage truck down the street, and toss the bag of waste into the back of the truck.  It is, without a doubt, a horrible system.)

While I’m complaining about obnoxious music, let me raise the issue of the washing machine I share with the tenants of the other seven studio apartments on the second floor of this particular building.  Whenever anyone starts the machine, and whenever a load is finished, the machine blares “It’s a Small World After All” so loudly that, if we wash clothes past 10pm, people in neighboring buildings call the cops to complain.

Why it’s necessary for the washing machine to play a song at the beginning and end of each wash cycle is really beyond me.  As to why it had to be “It’s a Small World”…I can only assume that the landlord, packing one and two people into 125 sq. ft. apartments, has a very sick sense of humor.

1 comment.

Holiday: Christmas Show 2006

Posted on December 28th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog.

[Nikolay and I were two of several foreign teachers who got together to design and create the backdrop pieces for the Christmas show.]

I finally found stress in my job in the two weeks leading up to Christmas, when all classes gave up their regular lessons in favor of preparing for the Christmas show.  From 8:30am to 4:30pm - we even went without play time for those two weeks.  It was traumatic - for me.

[Myself, conducting a rehearsal…I find this picture humorous.  No particular reason why.]

By the morning of the big event, my children - miraculously - were able to sing both Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Here Comes Santa Claus, and move together in a choreographed dance.  Of course, when they went on stage that afternoon to see 600 family members in the audience, they froze up and forgot both words and actions…it’s not a perfect world.  But I was content because I knew they COULD do it…and the parents seem not to realize how much their kids are capable of and were ecstatic all the same.  As long as everyone’s happy, right?

[Yes, even the children, in their reaindeer antlers (’cause we’re Deer Class…get it?) were overjoyed at the Christmas show…largely because they knew Santa Claus would make an appearance at the end of the show.]

But now it’s over and everything’s back to normal…I roam the school as though I haven’t a care in the world.  I do have concerns, but they’re mostly things like: “Will the cat puke up the ribbon he just ate and, if so, where?”  I love my low-stress life.

0 comments.

Taiwan: Taipei: Taipei Flower Show 2006

Posted on December 20th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Taipei.

Below are a few pictures I meant to post…but I never got around to it.  Surprise, surprise.  They were taken in Daan Park, a large park in central Taipei that’s about 10 to 15 minutes from my apartment by foot.  They randomly have events there - in November I stumbled across the Taipei Flower Show.

[Chinese sedan chair.]

First is the sedan chair that a Chinese bride was traditionally carried in from her family’s home to the groom’s family’s home, where she would live out the rest of her days in the insanity of a typical Chinese household.  To some extent, it’s my understanding that this tradition is still followed today, but they use cars instead of a huge, wooden hut on poles…kinda cheapens it, doesn’t it?

And this one…it’s just here because it’s pretty.  I like all the lanterns hanging from the trees, guiding one down the path, the flowers planted thick around the base of each cluster of gnarled branches.

[Pothead.]

There was a series of what I labled “Potheads” (yes, the pun was intentional.  Yes, it is horrible.  Yes, I am [vaguely] ashamed.)  I thought they rather looked like aliens among the large, colorful bushes of flowers.

And this one…really, I just thought he was cute/cool.  I really have no other reason.  He just makes me happy, and that’s all the reason I need.

And this last one…I have a sick sense of humor…but doesn’t that small child in the center of the photo rather resemble a food pellet that a couple overgrown, hungry koi are about to inhale?

0 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Helsinki Complaints Choir (and Taipei Complaints Choir?)

Posted on December 16th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants, Music.

I was rather enchanted by the video of the Helsinki Complaints Choir, which you should totally watch by clicking on the words: Helsinki Complaints Choir.  (Yes, it’s so good, I’m linking it twice.  I may do it a third time before the end of this post.)  There’s something so heart-warming about peoples’ incessant complaining - it’s nice to know that the rest of the world is just as bitter as you are.

[About half of the Helsinki Complaints Choir is shown here.]

Apparently the first Complaints Choir was in Birmingham, but while the Birmingham Complaints Choir is still amusing, it’s just not on the same level as its protege.  Regardless, it got my friends and I to thinking: If it can be done in two cities, why not three?  What’s to stop us from establishing the first ever Taipei Complaints Choir?

[The Birmingham Complaints Choir.]

Certainly we have a good deal to complain about here in Taipei, such as natural disasters, plagues of cockroaches, and a horrid waste disposal system.  I know there are others out there with their gripes - so, if you have a complaint about Taipei, post a comment, shoot me an e-mail, share your misery!  Together, we can let the world know how awful our lives are.

0 comments.

Taiwan: My Workplace, the Palace

Posted on December 12th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog.

[This is the gymnasium building, with an indoor skating rink, two swimming pools and a number of basketball/whatever courts.]

A comment was made to me that I work in a palace.  It’s quite true.  With all its buildings and bridges and walls standing against the mountain backdrops, with pillars and cortyards and even a gym that’s decorated with large slabs of marble, my school only resembles a school in that it is overrun with children and, in the stairwell I’ve come to dominate, children’s artwork.

[Looking out over the residential area on the mountain from a courtyard outside the elementary building.]

Yet no palace is complete without its gardens, and far be it from the well-to-do Taiwanese to be the exception to the rule.  The school sits on the end of a nature reserve, where our school’s own research team has its fun.

[Outdoor walkways, bridges, and courtyards help keep the indoor areas connected with those outdoors.]

On nice days - like Monday, December 11th, when the sun, swimming in blue skies, sent us enough warmth to bump the thermometer up to 80*F - I try to take the munchkins out to the nature reserve for a little exploration and energy release.  (Much hotter than that and the kids complain of heat and dehydration.)

[The roof of the kindergarten, where I work, and the covered bridge that connects to the rest of the school.  Aesthetically, they could have done better with this bridge…but you can’t have everything, I guess.]

It’s actually kinda nice going to work there - it’s good to get up and out of the blanket of pollution that covers Taipei.  The mountain air is cooler than what the city has to offer, and the trees are all fresh and vibrant shades of green.  If only I didn’t spend an hour commuting in each direction…can’t have it all.

[My students, being forced to stare into the sun - I have no talent for it, and neither do they.  Yet they were laughing hysterically as all 18 of them tried to pile on top of me for this picture, so I don’t think they’re scarred for life or anything.]

3 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Chinese School

Posted on December 9th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

It all started out as an innocent visit to my site’s control panel…ah, comments.  I love comments.  Some people just e-mail me with their thoughts, but a few leave comments - and Roland’s are, generally speaking, rather amusing.  He had this to say about my post on the Yinghua Academy in St. Paul, MN: “I wonder what they serve for lunch? Perhaps fried walleye in meat sauce?! Yummy!!!”

It got me thinking about what a true school of Chinese language and culture might be like.  I started to think about the various subjects that could be offered as the school grew, and from my experience living amongst the Chinese, here is what I came up with:

They could have special Chinese driving courses where they teach you how to drive like an insane Asian cabbie.  Driving tactics will include how to drive safely on the wrong side of the road, while matters like traffic lights, headlights, and the use of turn signals will be ignored completely.

They might offer Home Ec courses where they teach the kids to smoke while cooking.  They can encourage children to refrain from refridgerating leftovers so they don’t go bad, and train children in the proper usage of China’s number one seasoning: MSG.

In Health class, they can focus on important points, like not consuming any citrus products when you get a cold because, as all good Chinese people know, citrus fruits are cold foods and will only worsen your illness.  Perhaps there will also be some nifty courses on herbal remedies.

I certainly hope than any school nurse will be trained in Chinese foot massage, so all major illnesses can be treated by applying a painful amount of pressure to a tender part of your foot as an alternative to medicine and surgury.  He or she might also be trained in accupuncture, and keep inordinate amounts of either green oil or tiger balm on hand.

The school principal should, in fact, be some businessman that refers to the students as monetary units, and the parents as stockholders.  He will force all faculty to, at least once a year, take an active role in a Staff Sports Day, where teachers and janitors and kitchen staff will all be forced to do exciting activities like stair climbing.

Am I going too far?

They can open courses of communication, we’ll call it, where they teach the bright little youngsters to replace negative words like “no” with more pleasant sounding phrases, such as “yes”,  “we’ll think about it”, and “we’ll research that”.

Business courses would teach kids how to convert their homes into fronts for businesses, how to bargain, and how to develop a case of alcoholism.

Choir classes will be conducted entirely at karaoke bars. All children will also be required to play the piano and the violin.

Students will no longer have to write essays about stories read in literature courses. Instead, they will be forced to memorize and recite entire chapters of books, and they will write papers on the opinions of scholars who have read the literary works in question.

If anyone can add anything to this, please post up comments to share.  I love the Chinese dearly, mind you, but this is just too much fun.

5 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Squirrel Pirates!

Posted on December 7th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Animals, Blog, Meaningless Rants, Squirrels.

So, the squirrel thing is beginning to become something of an obsession, I admit.  This time, I actually looked for interesting squirrel photos, whereas the previous two times, I stumbled apon them by accident.  I found out there are entire websites devoted to squirrels…I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked by that, but I am.

[Totally looks like some bad-ass pirate!  Is he stuffed?]

Scary Squirrel World is probably one of the more disturbing sites.  They say this about squirrels, (or “skwerls”, as they call them): “We like ‘em fine and they taste great. Our mission is to track the world-wide love-hate fascination with squirrels and present it in the most absurd way possible. ”

[Text on the image readss: “Because EVERYONE wants to be a pirate - EVEN SQUIRRELS”]

The other site that shocked me was the Sugar Bush Squirrel site, a site devoted to a squirrel “super model” that has its own studio, comeplete with thousands of clothing articles and props for her photos.  It’s amusing to scroll through the page…there’s even a photo with the squirrel in question dressed as a Trekkie.

[The super model herself, Sugar Bush Squirel.]

Will this be the end of my squirrel obsession?  Or will it keep growing?  Will I fall to the Dark Side like “Anutkin Skywalker”, whom Super Bush Squirrel poses as in a picture on her website?  Only time will tell…

9 comments.

Taiwan: General Update - December

Posted on December 6th, 2006 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog.

I’ve been lazy in my posting as of late.  My only excuse is that I’ve done nothing interestesting as of late…but then, I define “interesting” as “traveling to exotic countries” or “getting drunk in strange places” or perhaps “getting abducted by aliens”.  Alas, life as of late has been a far cry from interesting.

[Closest thing I had to an alien in my photos was this praying mantis…my students noticed it on campus one day a couple weeks ago.  Totally awesome.]

I spend so much time with Angelica and Gene that I’m wondering when they’ll get sick of me.  Mostly, we sit on our asses, drink tea, eat fruit and cookies, and play board games - usually Scrabble.  Last Saturday, however, I mysteriously spent US$65 in the company of these two, and I’m not sure how…there was the Indian lunch buffet…and the Japanese sake bar…and the late night karaoke (that also involved alcohol, but not enough, because we knew we sounded horrible.)  There was another $15 expense in there that I can’t recall…and that’s not a trivial sum of money here…

[Gene on the subway.  This is funny because most Taiwanese can barely reach the handles with any degree of comfort, but the white man can easily hang on while squatting.]

Of course, I also spend a crapload of time at school, which I don’t mind.  It’s up in the mountains just south of Taipei.  The hills are still a deep, lush green, and the air is nice and fresh.  The clouds hang low, often obscuring the peaks above and blanketing the land below, leaving you in what feels like a limbo world.  The school itself looks like a castle, with bridges connecting the buildings that are each topped with castle-like walls.  There are large, open malls that remind me of the town squares described in some of the fantasy novels I read, and when the fog rolls in, it’s tempting to buy my students little black cloaks, make them carry wands, and petition to have the school name changed to Hogwarts.

[My School: As you can see, I teach the impoverished children of Taiwan.]

I also watch a good deal of TV lately, either on cable or off the ‘net, or sometimes I buy DVDs.  I’ve watched Lois and Clark two or three times through, and the first half of the first season of Lost, which started out really interesting but they lost me when they started building rafts.  I got my hands on the 4th season of Scrubs, and I’m in the process of downloading all ten seasons of Seinfeld.  I just finished Firefly (again) last week - that’s one that improves with each watching.

[No reason.  He just looks pathetic and cuddly.]

Of course, the cat remains insane.  I think there’s little to be done about that, and in all honesty, I prefer it that way.  Living with someone both crazier and lazier than myself really lifts my self esteem. 

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