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Meaningless Rant: Columbia University Bookstore Sign

Posted on April 22nd, 2010 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Meaningless Rants, NYC.

I spend my years in Brooklyn fighting back against a curriculum referred to as Teacher’s College, which is put forth by the bright minds at Columbia University.  I detest said curriculum with a passion, for while I’m sure it works very well in rich white suburban neighborhoods, it does not work in impoverished inner-city ghettos.

So, I found some joy in seeing this sign each time I went to Columbia to attend a professional development session (obviously they didn’t send their best out to have this sign made).

From the above sign, I can surmise one of two things about this bookstore: it either A) sells books for educators, books for classroom supplies (which are inanimate objects incapable of reading), and books for children, or B) it sells books for educators, classroom supplies (presumably also for educators), and children (doubtfully for educators - I think most of us have enough of these in our classroom, but perhaps they’re available for slave labor or some such).

1 comment.

Meaningless Rant: E-mail Accounts

Posted on October 19th, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

Just a short rant regarding a recent annoyance in my life.

Anyone who is reading this likely has an e-mail account.  It provides quick, easy communication.  I’m not sure how I would survive without e-mail these days.  Most organizations, be it a company, a school, or what have you, have come to a similar conclusion.

So my university has decided that school e-mail accounts are mandatory.  They have told instructors to ignore any e-mails recieved from private student accounts and only respond when a student e-mails from his or her Fordham address.

And then the school where I teach, which does not even recycle paper, has decided to “go green”.  No more handout notices to teachers - we get e-mail notices.  (Nevermind that the computer they put in my classroom is so old that it takes no less than ten minutes just to get in and view the first e-mail.)  But we cannot provide our private e-mail accounts - no, we’re assigned e-mail accounts from the Board of Education.

So every day, I’m supposed to check, in addition to my e-mail, my work e-mail and my university e-mail.  The latter two I have yet to figure out how to even change the password.  As a result, half the days that I actually remember to check these accounts, I lock myself out in the vain attempt to decode the password (one of which is a combination of parts of some zip code that I’ve lived at in the past ten years, I can never remember which, combined with parts of my social security number, and the other is a random assorment of letters, numbers, and symbols that make Chinese characters look simple.)

I don’t understand why I need designated accounts when I don’t even have a desk job.  Or why can’t they at least make their forwarding options obvious so I can just forward it all to my g-mail account?  (Or at least make the option for changing your password more obvious!)

So here I sit, multiple tabs open, my .COM and .GOV and .EDU accounts all open as I contemplate the meaning of my existence…each account seems to be reminding me of an aspect of life that I feel I am desperately behind in.  I’m longing to relax and socialize, then feeling guilty every time I go out with friends or pick up a book that has nothing to do with any class I’ve ever taken. 

And with all this on my mind, I venture out into the world. 

And people see me and they say: “Smile, Anna.”

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Meaningless Rant: The Slug

Posted on September 27th, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

I was stumbling home, oversized suitcase in tow on a night so heavily laden with fog that near-microscopic droplets of water had gathered on my glasses as I passed through the video game-like atmosphere.  I pulled my suitcase up the two steps to the mini-sidewalk that led to my building’s front door when something caught my eye.

Green and yellow.  Long and straight, with edges curled under, and stems sticking out from one end.  A leaf, I thought, even as my foot swerved to avoid it.

I stopped pulling my bag.  Had I really seen two stems on the end of the leaf?

I shifted so my shadow wouldn’t block the light from the front door and squatted down.  Two stems, indeed.  Two antenna, in fact.

I had never seen such a thing before.  Curious, squatting on the damp walkway in front of my building, I watched it inch along.

“Are you okay?” asked a concerned couple as they came home.

I smiled.  “Yeah.  I just noticed this thing on the ground - it remind me of the giant snail I saw in Macau, but it doesn’t have a shell.”  Only in retrospect can I fathom how strange I must have seemed.

“It looks like a slug,” said the man.

My response, wherein I was articulating the idea that perhaps I should move it before it gets stepped on, was overridden by the woman’s shriek of terror - at the slug itself, or at the idea of moving it, I’m not sure.

The couple left as I sat there thinking.  I could leave it and let nature take its course.  But then, if I knowingly leave it in a walkway, am I as good as killing it myself?  Am I killing it intentionally, even?

I blocked the path as children came racing down the walkway.  I frowned as the slug experienced a near-miss with a shoe.

If it was a cute creature, most people would feel compelled to help it.  When it’s a slug, sensible women scream and run away.

I pulled the convention pass off my neck and scooped up the slug.  I deposited it in the nearby grass.  A child help the doors open for me as I pulled my luggage in the main door.  What goes around comes around, perhaps.

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Meaningless Rant: Being Alive

Posted on September 22nd, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

To further articulate my thoughts on the whole “Why I do what I do” rant…

When a person is in a coma, with no brain activity and machines suplying oxygen and food, some people begin to stop and think: “Is this person still alive anymore?”

When brain activity stops, are we still living?

So as I go numb and mindless through each day, each week, each month, sustaining my existance on canned and pre-packaged food, falling into monotonous routine, I’m left to wonder: “Am I still living?”

What is it to be alive?

Is it enough to merely exist, take up space on this plane, consume and produce waste?

Is it enough to keep busy, to hold one’s own, sustaining one’s existance by whatever means necessary?

Is it enough to be challenged each day?  To have to think, solve problems, tackle challenges, and go home at night knowing you’ve accomplished something?

Is it enough to push your limits, try new things, and achieve high-set goals?  To do things that perhaps not everyone can do?

My idea of what it means to be alive evolves as the years go by.  When I was a child, I would have said that the comatose individual was still alive, by merit of existance.  In college, I would have said that the person who challenges him or herself is alive.

But now I want more.

I want to push myself father.  Find my breaking point.  Achieve more than I ever thought possible - more than anyone ever believed me capable of.

And let me break, if I must.

And rebuild.

Let me be stronger, more capable than ever before.  Let me know the high end of my limits, and build upon them with my experience, so that I can go even farther.

Perhaps I have been asking myself the wrong question.

It is not enough to be merely alive.

I need to evolve.

(Why talk to a shrink when I can just publish all my innermost thoughts on the web?)

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Meaningless Rant: Where Things Go

Posted on August 9th, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Cats, Meaningless Rants.

I misplace things.  Frequently.
Socks go missing in the dryer.
I can’t find my sole pair of scissors.
One shoe is here, but where is the other?

I find things in the strangest places.
The sock is actually behind the frig.
The scissors is behind the toilet.
The shoe is in my bed.

I could never figure out if I was actually that far out of it, or if there were in fact evil forces working against me.

Turns out it was the latter.

I was having my afternoon tea with a small bowl of raspberries this afternoon, taking a break from cleaning.  Tarzan came crashing down the hall into the foyer.  I looked up.  He turned and looked wildly at me, frozen in the middle of some incomprehensible act, thinking he was caught doing something wrong.

As I turned away, furry paws started swinging wildly.  Suddenly, the fight was with a plastic Target bag.  It lasted a minute or two, the bag seemingly putting up a good fight, before Tarzan finally retreated backward down the hallway, plastic bag in tow.  Should I take the bag away?

He came flying out again, this time clearly in pursuit of one of his favorite toys.  (If you’ve never purchased a Fat Cat Inc. toy for your cat, you’re neglecting him or her.)  The toy landed just behind a wooden sandal that I had purchased years ago in a Taiwanese night market.  The fight now involved the shoe, which didn’t put up as much of a fight as the Target bag.  Soon, the strap was in my dear sweet kitty’s jaws, and he was backing down the hallway once again.

Will the Target bag wind up in my underwear drawer, leaving me to wonder why I put it there when I get dressed tomorrow morning?  Will the sandal end up in the bath tub, letting me believe that my Saturday night ended with me being so drunk that I got in the shower with one shoe still on?

Whatever the case may be, I’m strangely comforted to know that it’s not just me.

UPDATE: Five hours later and I’ve found the plastic bag, but not the sandal…  Sigh.

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Meaningless Rant: My Executive Skills

Posted on February 14th, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

I have a cool prof for one of my classes this semester.  She makes the classes more bearable by having various small tasks that get people engaged and working.  I’m not wholly sure how it was related to our topic of the evening, ADHD, but we took an Executive Skills Quiz, and I don’t think anyone will challenge my results (remind me never to show this website to future employers):

Executive Strengths:

1. Flexibility (I go with the flow and adapt quickly.)
2. Stress Tolerance (I work well under pressure.)
3. Working Memory (I have a good memory, particularly for numbers.)

Executive Weaknesses:

1. Task Initiation (I procrastinate…  I’m procrastinating now.)
2. Time Management (I have no clue how long it will take.)
3. Organization (Obvious for anyone who has ever seen my bedroom, my classroom, my cube…)

I think my mom - and really, any of my supervisors - will agree…this is an accurate representation of me.

1 comment.

Meaningless Rant: The Chinese Line

Posted on February 10th, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, China, Meaningless Rants.

In the Western world, we take many sinple manners for granted, and one of them is the line.  In general, when a large group of people are all waiting for the same thing, the first person will stand closest to the goal, while each person to arrive thereafter gets in line directly behind the first person, in order of arrival.

In China, the first person in line stands pressed up next to the goal (probably because of the hundred people behind him or her pushing and shoving towards that one point).  The second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth people (give or take) stand next to and/or behind the first person, while the rest of the line continues to radiate out from there in a half-circle.  

This half-circle, with the goal point as its radius, is what I refer to as “the Chinese line”.  It takes both cunning and courage to reach the front of the line, and the Chinese people may well become more highly evolved people because of it (similar to the Chinese being genetic gamblers, which I will have to remember to blog about later.)

So when I saw this Reuters article, you can understand why I laughed.  The article cites a report from Renmin University:

The 2007 results all pointed in the right direction: 2.5 percent of people spat in public, down from 4.9 percent in 2006; instances of queue jumping dropped to 1.5 percent from 6 percent; and littering fell to 2.9 percent from 5.3 percent.

Mind you, I love China, but the propoganda that the country produces is hilarious.  People still spit in China - everyone does it, the beggars and the businessmen alike.  They litter too - you just drop your garbage on the streets, and government workers clean the streets on a daily basis.  And people still don’t line up - that’s just the way it is.

But most people who go to the Beijing Olympics will never know this, because people don’t spit in the Hyatt, and those people who are not rich enough to stay there, and are not employed to serve those who are, won’t be allowed anywhere near Olympic procedings.

3 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Comfort is a State of Mind

Posted on January 15th, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

[Myself, laying down on two wheeled chairs I’ve pulled together]

Over the years, as a result of college and world travel, I developed the amazing ability to get comfortable and fall asleep in almost any situation: on planes and in trains; out in the forest and on a hard floor; in airports and in offices.  I love sleep, and I can sleep nearly anywhere.

But never did I realize, until seeing a picture of myself, how bizarre I look when I’m just getting comfy.  Now I know why people think it’s strange when I lay down on a hardwood floor to relax, or why people will stare at me when I squat down on the curb to do something.  It’s not normal to sit down on the kitchen floor to eat; when in the livingroom, I’m supposed to sit on the couch, not plop down on a cushion I’ve tossed on the floor.

I’d like to relegate the blame the realm of culture shock, but I really don’t think any one culture has taught me to do these things…it’s just me.  But take me or leave me, my friends, because I likely won’t change.

2 comments.

Meaningless Rant: My Bags

Posted on January 12th, 2008 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

I don’t so much carry a purse as I do some variety of bag.  More importantly, that bag generally needs to have some sort of supernatural, bottomless pit qualities.  Things go in the bag - they never come out.

The result is that my bags get quite heavy.  So every now and then, I get curious and dump out the bag and try to sort everything out and ease a couple pounds off my shoulder.

I recently had such a day - “What’s in here?” I asked myself in exasperation after lifting the painfully heavy bag onto my shoulder.  I started digging…my wallet…my iPod…a 400-page novel…my cell phone…an umbrella……a pad of paper…my digital camera…  All necessary things to survive in our modern world.

And then, I found it.  Surprised, I pulled the lightsaber hilt out of the depths of my bag and hefted it once or twice.  “Probably don’t need that,” I muttered to myself.  I set the lightsaber hilt down on the back of the couch and lifted the purse onto my shoulder: “Better,” I commented, and headed out the door.

4 comments.

Meaningless Rant: Things to be Grateful For

Posted on December 8th, 2007 by Anna Zhan.
Categories: Blog, Meaningless Rants.

I was very upset this afternoon.  When my students returned to our classroom after the one weekly class I teach with a different group of students, they discovered that a number of their personal items had been stolen.  I had a hard time believing it had happened, because I never would have thought to do such a thing myself.

One kid was crying; among other things, he had lost some good cards from his deck of collectible playing/trading cards.  It wasn’t my fault, as they’re technically not supposed to have them in their desks anyway, but I felt bad nonetheless.  I gave one responsible student a few dollars and told him to buy that student some new cards this weekend.

Then my students asked if they could help the kid build a new deck by donating some of their own cards to him.  By the time they were done, the student had a better deck than before, and he was smiling.  Said responsible student then approached me: “Here, Ms. Zhan, we fixed his deck, so we don’t need the money to buy new cards.”  He placed the money back in my hand and walked away.

And I felt so grateful, knowing that I had good kids who I could trust.  Although I may not enjoy teaching 5th grade, perhaps I do enjoy teaching my students.  I respect my students, and so I feel proud to serve them.

Then I came home to find I was being publicly dissed on another blog.  Instead of upsetting me, it merely caused me to reflect.  I realized how grateful I am to have such wonderful people across the country and around the world, who love and support and accept me both in spite of who I am, and, more importantly, for who I am.

I know it’s not always easy dealing with me.  It’s not easy to talk to a teacher, as we just keep talking about our students, whom most people neither know nor care about.  It’s not easy befriending a world traveler, as I keep picking up and moving, dropping out of touch and evolving into a new person based on the radical experiences I have.  It’s not easy hanging out with a linguist, as we keep switching into foreign languages, which came make some people uncomfortable.  And perhaps it’s hard to love a geek, as our obsessions tend to creep into every aspect of our lives (as any obsession should.)

And yet, in spite of myself - the traveler, the teacher, the geek - I have people who love me and support me; people who find me intriguing and amusing.

Today has been a good day - it reminded me of what I have to be grateful for.  27 fabulous ten-year-olds, and an immense international network of friends and family.  Many thanks to everyone, for loving me as I am.

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